


My December

by KazOfScotland



Series: KCAWS 30 Days of Winter Writing 2021 [20]
Category: Traces (TV 2019)
Genre: 30 Days of Writing, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Isolation, Keep Calm and Write Something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29062998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KazOfScotland/pseuds/KazOfScotland
Summary: Everyone pushed Emma away, and she pushed everyone away, after her actions in the search to find her mum. What they don't know is how much she regretted it and wanted to make up for her actions.
Series: KCAWS 30 Days of Winter Writing 2021 [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2111565
Collections: 30 Days of Winter Writing





	My December

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the KCAWS 30 Days of Winter Writing Prompt: My December

It was quiet as she walked home, quiet and uniquely still. She hated that it had come to this. She hated that she was made to be this isolated. She just wanted to know the truth. It wasn’t a bad thing that she wanted answers, was it?

She knew that her actions were irrational at points but all she wanted was to make sure that she got answers about what happened to her mum. She didn’t know if it would be something she wanted to know but she had to know. She needed closure of some sort, she needed to know if there was a reason. She needed to know if there was a reason that she had to grow up with a mum. Jullie was great but it wasn’t the same as having her mum there to support her. 

She hated the fact that she had to walk the streets by herself. She hated it all, especially how some people couldn’t understand why she wanted answers, and instead of asking her why, just accused of her trying to destroy Phil MacAfee’s life. That wasn’t her intention, she never wanted to hurt anyone. She never wanted anyone to feel the way that she did. But she needed to move on, and she couldn’t do that with her past pulling her back whichever way she turned. 

There was so much she wanted to do. She wanted to be able to fall in love. She wanted to be able to have fun and dance around with her mum's case looming over her. She wanted to have her own life, and to work on the issues that she had from the trauma of her mum’s death. But she had never wanted this. 

She had moved home, to Dundee, because she loved the idea of the job, but also because it gave her a chance to feel close to her mum again. It was like she was there with her. It was like she could feel her mum when she walked through the city at times. 

At first that had been welcoming, warming, but now. Now it just closed her off. She couldn’t talk to anyone. Skye, her best friend, hated her. Daniel had left. And her job, well she couldn’t go back to that until Daniel’s had been through the courts and the verdict was found. Guilty or not guilty, it didn’t matter but either way she wasn’t allowed around SIFA until it was done. 

Everyone told her to go home. Everyone told her that it would be best for her to get away. But she didn’t know where to go. Julie was amazing but it felt as if she was going backwards by going back to England. She had finally left home and started a life of her own. And that was why she was here. Walking the streets of Dundee on her own. She regretted it. She regretted it all. 

Every word she had spoken. Every person she had pushed away. Every accusation made. 

She hated it. She wished that she could take it all back. She wished that she could turn to her family. Turn to her friends. Turn to loved ones. But there was no one left. 

And it was all her fault. And she knew that she ahd to make amends. She had to start to forgive first. She had to accept everything that had happened. 

She had to face up to the mistakes she had made. And that meant facing Phill MacAfee first. She had to forgive him for stealing away her childhood. 

  
  



End file.
